Left out

I saw some photos of some other students on a night out. It made me incredibly sad that I had not been invited, even though I actually have very little to do with them. I am perhaps getting older and am considered a little square or boring, I have to say I agree. I even bore myself! What is to be done I ponder this in order to change my frame of mind.

My real friends seem to brush this kind of nonsense off without a second thought, so why does it trouble me so? I guess it is because I used to be the life and soul of the party, and now I feel like I have no soul left in me. Is it depression or the flat line of being in an unhappy marriage? Yesterday my hubby told me he wants me to leave, his reason was that he could not leave because he has nowhere to go and that he has no money. Where as I on the other hand have loads of cash and a spare house I could move into (not!)

I talked to a friend about my situation and she said he is like a parasite, she is right, he sticks to me for an easy life not because he loves me. He spent the night in our son's bed and I as usual spent the night upset while he slept without a care in the world. How do I put this situation right? Time for legal advice methinks.

Inferioriy

What is it about Lecturers that makes me feel so inferior? (Besides the fact that academically speaking I am) I want to talk to them, I want to ask questions or for advice, but my tongue ends up in a knot. I feel panic stricken and often completely forget why I have asked to speak to them. I go in armed with my list of issues / questions and come out feeling a right plank and worrying about the fool I have just made of myself. They are only human, just like me, they are willing to see me, they encourage and guide me, so why do I feel so inferior?

Can of worms.

Today I decided to contact an ex on facebook. Why?? I really don't know. I have seen him around a few times over the years but this was my first ever love, and lover! We broke up after a steamy, stormy eighteen month relationship, all of that was seventeen years ago. So why am I now choosing to open up that particular can of worms? Perhaps because I am bored, unsatisfied and a little lonely to be honest. I am curious about him and he is recently single . . . I think I need to have a stern word with myself and remind myself why we split all those years ago. His jealousy and selfish ways were unbearable, I decided that I didn't need that type of relationship and although it left me feeling bruised for a long time I decided to end it. It was the right decision and I moved onto many more fulfilling and satisfying relationships. So why hit self destruct now, and what will happen, clearly I do not trust myself and that is a feeling I dislike in myself. I need to hit the warning button big style!

Obesity surgery.

I have tried and tried to loose weight. I have now decided that I need help with it and so am considering obesity surgery. I feel guilty that I seem unable to sort this out without resulting to such a drastic measure, however, I know I need help and after several consultations at different hospitals I have found somewhere I trust and feel comfortable with. The decision now is gastric balloon or gastric bypass. The balloon is less invasive and less costly but will only assist me to loose about 60% of my excess weight. It also requires maintenance for life and will cost around £150 to £200 each time I wish to have it adjusted. On the other hand I have the option of the bypass, this is a longer more invasive operation which will result in a weight loss of around 75% which is much more what I wish to achieve. The down side is it has many risk factors and is double the initial cost. On the plus side it requires less long term maintenance than the band. Taking into consideration my age (39) I will hopefully live with either for a long time so a biog part of me feels the bypass is the better option. I have discussed it with my GP who has been very supportive and feels the bypass is the better option. I really wish I could do this without surgery but as I have been trying to for so many years and have failed so many times I now feel this is my only alternative. I want to loose weight not just for vanity but because it has a disabiling effect on me and I have seen how my Mom and Grandmar both suffered through exactly the same problem. I need to sort it out and need good constructive advice regarding it.

Degree or not Degree?

I would love to have a day of rest. I have worked on a Sunday now for nearly five years and before that I worked on a Saturday For just over fifteen years. All this along with a part time job in the week of 17.5 hours being a Mother to four children and Wife. Then just to complicate things I took it upon myself that I may be able to cope with a degree!

What was I thinking? Well hubby got made redundant and managed to get another job but on half the wages he was previously, and everything went up in cost! So methinks perhaps if I got a degree I would be able to get a better job and perhaps take the pressure off our finances.

Now what worries me is while I am studying I seem to be accruing more debt, earning less and struggling to spend any quality time with my family. I am almost half way through the degree now and really beginning to question if I am doing the right thing or making a huge mistake.

I used to work in a bank and earned a reasonable wage, but a friend of mine who teaches in a college persuaded me that I could do much better and earn more. I do hope she is right and that after all the hard work, commitment and cost of the degree I will reap dividends.

It is a huge step embarking upon a career change and throwing all my eggs in the degree basket. I started off wanting to go into teaching but having seen what the lecturers have to put up with from some students who supposedly want to be there I really feel a career in teaching would result in me loosing my temper big style with people who just do not know when to SHUT UP! furthermore why do they make out that only a few students actually read the texts set by the module leaders. Are we really to believe they write an essay on a text or texts they have not even read?

Well I for one am at work, it is reasonably quiet, so I am able to do some reading and fear I will have to stay up most of the night in order to have read Elizabeth Gaskell by Mary Barton. Only to discover when I get into Uni tomorrow most of the other students will NOT have read it and the lecturer may decide not to deliver the lecture. I have to say it really pisses me off.

The question I am really asking here is "Is it really worth me missing out on my daughters pre school years, weekends away with my boys and the wage I reduced in order to complete the degree?"

I am at loggerheads with myself over this question and really wonder if I will return for year three.

Today I was reading Susan Glaspell's Century of American Women found the following quote 'this chapter will examine the plays that focus on women, particularly the theme of maternity, for in these plays motherhood becomes disassociated from sweetness and light and increasingly linked to entrapment and oppression' p.59.

Entrapment and oppression. I can understand these feelings but non the less feel guilty for admitting to it. I am never quite sure if it is being a mother or a wife that entraps my free spirit within. I love my children dearly though and have to say I would not swap them for the world, my husband on the other hand is often not that secure in my emotions. What an awful wife I must be!!

How did I let my life get to this position?

When my first husband died at the age of 26 I was gutted beyond belief. We had a son who was just six months old and I never thought I would recover. I am 40 next year and in the time since I lost my lovely Steve I have really tried to re build my shattered life. I met Martin (husband number 2) three years after Steve's death and knew from the start that something was not right between us, but call it stupidity or just the cloud of sadness from loosing Steve, I agreed to a relationship with him. He is a good man in so many ways and he chased after me persistently in the early years. You see I kept on telling him I was unsure and still in the depths of grief but he just ignored my feelings and emotions and replaced them with fun things to do which included my son and this felt a relief for me.

The big void of loosing Steve remained with me and I decided it was more than likely a permanent fixture in my emotions. Since then I have tried no end of things to fill that void and without sounding awful that includes three more children (who I love dearly) a college course, three different jobs, an affair and now a University degree. Where will it end I ask myself? I still feel crap and wonder if things will ever just feel settled and normal.

I recently decided to try going to church to see if that would help, but so far I do not feel any Devine intervention. My kids keep me busy, my degree stresses me out, I hate my job and my husband pisses me off beyond belief! Yesterday he got wheel clamped in town and somehow it was my fault even though I was not with him.

I am broke, I am heavier than I was when I was pregnant, I feel crap and I just do not know where to turn. I keep thinking if I could loose weight (even though I seem incapable of following a successful diet), get a better job (thus the degree) perhaps I could muster the strength to decide if I want to be with my husband or not then I could finally start enjoying my life instead of spending most of it feeling pathetically sorry for myself.

I need the better job to leave as he told me once he would rather give up work than support me and give me money to go night clubbing if I ever left him(odd comment as I have not been clubbing for years), besides where could I go with four children? I asked him to leave last year as he was making it quite clear family life was not suiting him and he refused saying that he would change and stop being so moody with me and the kids. Can't say I have noted the change though.

Apparently I am not allowed to buy new clothes, go to a slimming class, do UNI work when he is at home, go to bed without telling him first, give my son a lift to the bus stop in the morning or read the paper before he does!! WTF !! Control freak or what?????

On a brighter note he is going away with the children this weekend so that I can "Get on with my Uni work" and "spring clean the house". I think I shall put clean sheets on the bed, soak in the bath without him peeping through the doorway, watch crap on TV and I may even go out for a meal with my friend. Oh yeh liberation if only for two days from the constraints of marriage,

Nasty Comedians

Nasty comedians choose to make fun of people who are in a minority group and unless you happen to be a part of that group it is usually considered amusing. Frankie Boyle offended a mother of a downs syndrome child at a recent gig. (further reading available on the link) She happened to be in the front row and was upset at his jokes. However, she had laughed at jokes about race, religion and many other controversial issues prior to this incident. At the end of the day if you choose to see a live controversial comedian I think you should expect to find at least one or even two of the issues a little hard hitting.

http://http//www.guardian.co.uk/stage/2010/apr/09/offensive-comedy-frankie-boyle

I do have to say though that I do not condone jokes about downs syndrome, race or religion which is why I choose not to go and see their acts or line their pockets with my hard earned cash.

Bad manners

Yes please...

No thank you...

Please may I...

What ever happened to manners? It amazed me at my sons beaver scout camp how many of the children were ungrateful for the activities and food that had been organised for them. It seems that the Beaver boys had no or very little manners.

It is important for children to be taught manners at a young age as they lay the foundations for adulthood. It is where children learn to be tolerant of others and respectful of other peoples possessions and efforts. (Respect there is another thing that seems to be lacking in many children). Table manners are apparently a dyeing art in many young ones according to my sons headmaster.He even felt the need to ask parents to ensure their children know how to sit at a table and use cutlery as many of the finger food chicken nugget generation (his words not mine) are unable to do so when they start school at 5 years of age. Can you imagine the chaos that would descend in the school hall if all 500 children decided to eat walking round?

For advice onhow to teach manners, (or even for those of you who thought it was OK to chat when a lecture was being delivered) check out the link.

http://http://www.a-to-z-of-manners-and-etiquette.com/manners-and-etiquette-for-children.html

Body Modification

It was interesting to discover the various reasons for modifying the body that ranged from religion to status in varying cultures. Evidence suggests that Roman soldiers pierced their nipples as a sign of virility so piercing has clearly been around for many years.

There are many risks involved with piercing that include: infection, allergic reaction, cross contamination, negative judgement from others and pain. So with all that in mind why do people choose to do it? Part of the appeal to some individuals is that others will perceive them in a different way. Some will be fascinated by it and love it others will hate it. But as for the person who has it done they really must love it as it takes commitment to look after the area after piercing and obviously there is a cost involved.

For those of us who are too scared to have an actual piercing done then we could try fake nostril rings, belly button rings or tongue rings available on the following link (and no sadly I am not on commission).

http://http//www.jobananas.com/fake-belly-ring-faq/

Response To Ayesha Bulimia

http://http://ayesha-beingbad.blogspot.com/2010/04/bullemia.html

The word `Plus' has merely replaced the word `Fat' in my opinion. It is the new politically correct way of addressing someone who is represented by their size. Bulimia and anorexia are classed as self imposed conditions, these conditions directly result from the expected norms of apperance that are dictaited to our society by, the media and peer pressure to conform to society's norms and values. So what if someone wears a size 6 or even a size 28. Are we as a society really that shallow that we make judgements on size alone. Is that not considered a prejudice? It is just as unjustified as as judging someone by skin colour, hair colour, wealth, financial status or simply the size of their nose? I have suffered from bulimia in the past and believe you me it has left me with physical problems, and even now many yeas down the line I still wish I was thin. I do not want to be the plus size one. It is as difficult to loose weight as it is to kick any other sort of adiction. It is just a shame that society does not realise that.

Response To Hannah-Louise. Abortion.

http://http//hellokittyyyx.blogspot.com/



I do not agree with one of the points raised in the blog. The abortion limit of 24 weeks is there for a specific purpose. If you are carrying a child with a disability of some sort such as downs syndrome, the severity of the condition cannot be advised until the 20 week gestation period. Someone I know had the awful decision of terminating a pregnancy for exactly that reason. She and her husband were both left with the choice between continuing with the pregnancy which would beyond any doubt end in a severely dependant child for the rest of their lives. They also had two older children to consider and after a lot of soul searching they decided, that they as a whole family would not be able to cope.



I do however, agree that abortion should not be used as a method of birth control. Women who have abortion after abortion should be made to reconsider their methods of birth control.

Binge drinking

http://http//www.drinkaware.co.uk/facts/frequently-asked-questions

According to one of my male friends one of the reasons he likes a drink is because all the women in the world look attractive when he is under the influence! I have to say I do not think it works when a woman gets drunk (that is all the men do not suddenly become attractive). Alcohol has been used a an aid to socialisation for years and is considered a legal and safe way for people to unwind and enjoy each others company. The term Binge drinking has been used by the media massively in recent years and is often associated by images of young people who are paralytic. The British culture for drinking seems to carry with it a reputation for violence and anti social behaviour.

The NHS state binge drinking is if an individual consumes two times the recommended amount of alcohol in a day. This would be over 8 units for men and 6 for women. Talk about a laugh that makes most the people I know serious Binge drinkers. For me if you can manage to not drink at a social function and you are happy to do so that is fine. Please do not expect me to do the same though. I will not condemn you for abstaining and I do not expect you to condemn me for participating.

Response to Is that what I think it is?

http://http://ayesha-beingbad.blogspot.com/2010/04/is-that-what-i-think-it-is_16.html

OK I agree. My husband is forever dropping litter and it makes me so mad with him. As for the dog mess issues that is a whole other ball game. check out the following link which details the horrendous effects dog mess can have.

http://http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/HomeAndCommunity/WhereYouLive/Streetcleaninglitterandillegaldumping/DG_10025986

It is horrendous to imagine the effects this issue could have on others. I had a dog for 17years until he died two years ago. I always yes always had bags and poop scoop stuff with me. There is no excuse what so ever. If you have a dog then cleaning up after it is your responsibility. End of!!

Plagiarism

Plagiarism is the act of taking a literary piece of work and then passing it off as your own. Computer software is now available that allows work to be scanned, it can detect if someone has copied other peoples work. Many educational institutions are now using this software in an attempt to stop students copying. Wolverhampton University has information on plagiarism on the following link:

http://http//asp.wlv.ac.uk/Level7.asp?UserType=6&Level7=1152

Personally I can not understand why any one would risk their entire degree by copying. In the end it would only result in the whole cliche that you would only be cheating yourself. Even if you did get away with it throughout school, college or even UNI your deceit would eventually catch you up and bite you in the bum when you were unable to do the job you had cheated your way into. Shame on you anyone who has survived thus far by using this method.

Response to Mrs Brightside Being Gay

http://http//mrsbrightsideemilyyy.blogspot.com/2010/04/being-gay-being-bad_17.html

I totally agree that individuals who are homophobic are usually uneducated and ignorant people. I understand that some christian followers or even those with other strong religious beliefs may find it difficult to accept anything different to the expected `norms' of sexuality.

I feel strongly that we should all live and let live a little more in this world. Surely we all have better things to worry about than if our neighbour, relative or associate is gay? In my lifetime I have made friends with all sorts of people and I have to say one of my closest friends is Gay, however she is too scared to tell her family or workmates so is still in the closet. As a result and because of the views and opinions of others she lives a single life. It is such as shame as she is a lovely person with so much love to give and I am positive she would be a wonderful mother.

Wake up all those homophobic people and let others choose their own way in life.

Response to Dawn's response to What you looking at.

http://http://beingbadbell.blogspot.com/

I agree with Dawn on this. I think is often the case that you only have to have a crossed word with someone or even disagree with them, when suddenly you are being accused of being a bully. The term is bounded around in my children's school so much that even my four year old knows the word. Society is co convinced that it needs to conform to every rule that it often overlooks that it is human nature that individuals will not always get along.

Whilst I strongly disagree that people should not go out of their way to bully others I do agree that without stronger characters who lead by example, our society would be a complete mess. We need some leaders and some followers in adult life and our children are just the same.

A key factor in considering if you are being bullied is if the tactics used are persist and deliberate. If they are then yes it is bullying but if you are being reprimanded for not doing your job, or have been told off for being late when you are always late then it is not bulling.

Politicians tactics to win votes

Politicians tactics to gain votes.

Abstract taken from http://http//www.jstor.org/pss/2586911 Viewed on 10/04/2010 on line.
"We model the electoral politics of redistribution when voters and parties care about inequality in addition to their private concerns for consumption and votes, respectively. Ideological concerns about income redistribution lead each party to adopt a general proportional income tax, adjusted to appeal to the ideological leanings of high "clout" groups, with disproportionately many "swing" voters, which the parties also ply with pork-barrel projects. Our results relate to "Director's Law," which says that redistributive politics favors middle classes at the expense of both rich and poor. "

Why can't the politicians concerned just be truthful about their policies? It seems to me that with every election we (by we I mean the British public) always end up worse off. We are told by each party that their policy is the only way forwards and that they have the interests of the working man at the forefront of their minds. Why then does it seem to me that the man who chooses not to work or defraud the system is the one who gets all the help?

Response to Kam28 re Verbal Abuse

http://http//random-kam28.blogspot.com/ Verbal abuse. What a subject and I am so glad that one of my fellow students has highlighted it. The images you have chosen are a powerful medium in their own right. I totally agree that verbal abuse can be as harmful and damaging as physical abuse. Verbal abuse can include laughing at you, mocking you, attempts to make you look foolish to others. It is a horrible situation to be in. I agree that verbal abuse is not acceptable but I do not agree that it makes the person who is dishing out the abuse looks cool. If I ever notice someone making a deliberate attempt to to verbally abuse another I will certainly not think they are cool. In fact I will go out of my way to point out that I felt uncomfortable with the way they spoke to the other person and I would certainly make sure they know of my disapproval.

Anti social behaviour

Anti social behaviour has made so many people feel intimidated and frightened. I took my children to the park, perhaps a little later in the day than I would usually choose to take them, but on this particular day the weather was lovely and after we had had a walk we decided to pop into the park to let the children enjoy what was left of the daylight. I am not talking 9 or 10 O'clock at night here. It was between 6 and 7pm. Our local park has four swings two are for small children you know the sort that is primarily designed for the under fives. So we arrived and the swings were all being used by teenagers (even though they could not sit in the seats designed for toddlers). My children decided to play on the other equipment but after a while wanted a turn on the swings. My 4 year old son said to a teenage boy "Please can I have a go?" the boy nodded and moved so my little one could get on. Great I thought so I asked the young girl in the other child swing if my daughter could have a go. She also moved but it was clear she was not happy about my asking. I saw her whisper to one of her mates and the next thing that happened was that she and a few of the boys decided to kick a football at the two other swings that their mates were on. This was a real worry at the ball could easily have hit my children at any point. I asked them not to do it and they laughed at me. They then swore at me and said if I did not like it I should leave the park. Momentarily I considered having a go with them but I had my children with me. I decided to bring them away. I felt humiliated and scared. I went home upset and saddened by the behaviour I had experienced. It also means that now that my 4 year old is scared of teenagers! Not a great result

http://http//www.direct.gov.uk/en/CrimeJusticeAndTheLaw/Typesofcrime/DG_4001652

Streaking

Streaking is the act of running naked through a public place or at a public event. This is often done at sporting events.

Erica Roe (Pictured above) is one notorious streaker. The phrase `Doing an Erica' was coined after she exposed her 40" chest when she ran semi naked through the middle of a rugby match at Twickenham in 1982. I vividly remember my Dad being ever so interested in that news clip. Erica has made herself a fortune from the fame she gained after her streak. She said that the police were gentle with her and that she was not fined for her streak. You can find out more about Erica on the following link:

http://http//www.womenstreakers.com/various/var.html

Mark Roberts (above right) has streaked 380 times talk about an addiction! Would you Adam and Eve it though apparently there is no Law against it.

You can find more information about Mark or even contact him on the link below:

http://http://www.thestreaker.org.uk/main.htm

Joyriding

How can something that is totally illegal, dangerous and irresponsible be associated with the word joy? Often it is teenagers who steal cars and take them for a spin. This more often than not ends in a crash it puts the lives of the teenagers at risk and also risks the lives of any innocent road users or pedestrians that these joyriders may have a collision with.

The following website even informs its readers of a 7year old boy who took his Mums car for a joyride, not a massive surprise to read that he ended up crashing it!

http://http//www.brake.org.uk/news/uk-road-crashes/joyriding

The link also shows lots of examples of fatal crashes caused by the so called joyriders. The criminals who commit these offences should pay heavily for their antics. Often they get away with it and leave the cars burnt out to cover up their tracks.

In response to Tia

http://http//tiaford.blogspot.com/ posted by Tia 06 April 2010.

Tia if only it were that simple. In my experience it is never easy. What if you marry someone then you or thay change with the passing of time? For example my friend's husband suddenly became aggressive towards her in a verbel manner after ten years of marriage. She became scared of him and fearful for their children. Eventually she found the courage to leave and soon found comfort in a male friend who was supportive to her and sympathetic to her situation. Her husband then found out and filed for divorse on the grounds of her unreasonable behaviour. (I hasten to add she did not have a sexual relationship at all with her new male companion). Do you really feel she should have stayed there or that she should never have entered into the relationship with her husband in the first place? Relationships are a complex issue, yes I agree that if you intend to have affairs at the offset then perhaps you should stay single but life changes all the time and people along with it.

The following view of relationships made me laugh

http://http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rpEP93duDJE

In response to Mark Jones

Posted by mark on 08 April Soffware Downloads?

I guess it was meant to say software downloads hey? Of course for any of us who were born before the 1980's buying a computer is like hell on earth. Not only do they cost a fortune, it seems the 14 year old Saturday sales assistant seems to know more about it than I do. I swear they cold sell me a right pile of junk and I would have no idea at all. As for software downloads it seems ridiculous to me that you buy the damn computer and then have to buy the software to make it work. I liken it to purchasing a new oven and then having to buy the shelves and grill on a separate deal.

Thank goodness the University will sell the software for a tenner, could ten of us pay a quid and share it or would that not work? Perhaps Gerry would take me shopping to get a computer as I reckon I need one that turns on in less than 15Min's like my present one which my 12year old tells me used to belong to Adam and Eve. (Not sure he is right about that as I think it was just fig leaves and apples they were into. Oh and sex yeah good old proper entertainment that does not involve looking at a screen for hours on end) Bring back the days of overhead projectors and tape players, easy to understand, quick to use and no software required.

My god never did I think I would see the day where a lecture could not be delivered because of a dead mouse (obviously not one the cat had dragged in) and that we were all to sit and wait while a new mouse was delivered and then sadly missed half the lecture on the 17 century. Oh well I never understood the half we did get so perhaps it was just as well.

As for the software issue if anyone has a computer to sell or the best buy deal that includes an idiots guide for installing the software please let me know.

Phew rant over...

Ageism against women in television

In order to help win the fight against gender inequality or oppression in the media key figures are begining to question the reasons why Women in particular are considered past their sell buy date after the age of fifty.

Gauntlett (2002) argues that there is some evidence that the representation of gender in modern media has become more equal and less stereotyped. However a recent article in The Sunday Times (04.04.10) contradicts this statement. The article titled “War of the women at the BBC” supports the debate that women over the age of fifty are still few in numbers compared to men from the same age group. Scott (2010) supports the notion that of the few older women who have survived at the BBC, many actually play the part of the caricature. Scott identified Anne Robinson, 65, who presents the Weakest Link as “adopting a character which she plays much as an actress might. She is Cruella de Vil”. This is further reinforced by the chief executive of Women in Film and Television Kate Kinninmont. Kinninmont (2010) comments that “the BBC’s conduct was shameful because it should lead by example” This was also supported by Sue MacGregor who said American television now uses “a handful of notable women over 60” to present major news and current affairs programmes. One such woman, Diane Sawyer has seen ratings jump by 8% since she took over the position of presenting ABC’s flagship news show from a man three months ago. (Times 2010) You can check out the full article on the following link.

http://http://www.agediscrimination.info/News/Pages/ItemPage.aspx?Item=190

Benefit Fraud

How many of us know someone who is working but claiming they are not? If they are a good friend should we report it? What if they find out and you loose a friendship? Can you honestly say that you would give them that money out of your own account? I guess it would be a no so why do so many of us turn a blind eye?

It is a serious issue that can no longer be ignored. Our country should not be simply keeping people who could be working or even worse have no real need to be claiming benefits as they have more than enough money to live off in savings or from undeclared work.

If you are a benefit fraudster then shame on you. I have worked and supported myself and my family all my life, my parents were the same before me. The stay at home ethic that is so commonplace in this country with many individuals needs to be tackled by all of us.

Benefit fraud cost the tax payer £900 million in 08/09 according to the following website

http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/MoneyTaxAndBenefits/BenefitsTaxCreditsAndOtherSupport/BenefitFraud/DG_10014876http://

Stop this fraud before the country and you are drained of all all the assets that could be better spent on the health service or providing help and support for those who cannot work and genuinely need the assistance.

Road Rage

Road rage has become more publicised in recent years and statistics show that many of have been a victim of it, or have felt themselves being the one who is loosing control of minor driving situations. The incidents can range from someone pinching our parking space to cutting us up or not letting us pull out, thus resulting in scenes of verbal abuse, gesticulating or even physical abuse.

According to statistics road rage is more common after a lovers tiff (Tiger Woods springs to mind). The web link offers advice on how to stay calm behind the wheel, and of course a swift pint is not advised!

http://http://www.edmunds.com/reviews/list/top10/110033/article.html

Football hooligans

Football hooligans chant at the opposing teams, they use verbal and sometimes physical abuse. Often they are not true football fans and are really only there to start a fight. England football supporters are notorious for causing trouble when they follow their team abroad. I have some personal experience of this. I once went to Paris to see England play and was amazed how we as innocent supporters were ushered around like cattle. I saw a man pick up a house brick and because I was concerned about it I approached a french policeman to inform him of what I had seen. I spoke to him twice to gain his attention but he ignored me so I tapped him on his shoulder. He spun round, took my arm up behind my back and threw me to the ground! My Husband rushed over and explained why I had tapped him and then I was let free. NO apology, no thanks for doing the right thing. My question is "If the police treat the innocent fans like that do they truly expect the thugs not to kick off?"

Hallucinogenic drugs

According to an article in the Guardian Newspaper certain hallucinogenic drugs have been tested with a view to helping patients with terminal illnesses. Now I certainly have no valid argument that would suggest any problem with this type of treatment. If I were terminally ill I would want to be able to escape the reality of my illness. If, as the report suggests, the use of this type of drug would assist one to overcome some of the psychological boundaries a terminal illness places upon an individual then surely it would be beneficial to all concerned. If it could aid the patient to live their remaining days feeling at peace and able to cope I agree it should be available to them legally. This could also have the knock on effect of helping their associated family and the medical professionals who try to treat them.

I would not agree with some of my colleagues within the being bad lecture who considered it socially acceptable to move towards these types of drugs becoming available within everyday life to anyone who wants them just for recreational purposes. I cannot ever imagine feeling relaxed at the thought of anyone saying "I am off to boots to buy some mind altering drugs". I for one feel it is a very slippery slope of self destruction. If hallucinogenic drugs were legalised do we not all think that the gateway to all other drugs would be opened? I welcome your views as I am sure you will not all agree with me.

http://http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2008/aug/12/medicalresearch.drugs

Infidelity

What is infidelity? According to the Oxford English Dictionary (OED) online it is unfaithfulness or disloyalty to a person. In one way or another we will all be effected by infidelity. It may be from our partner, a friend who uses us as an excuse to cover up our affair or it may even be us who finds suddenly fins we are overcome by temptation and falling into unfaithfulness.

How many of us do it? According to the following link 50 to 60 per cent of marriages are affected. Wow!

http://http//ezinearticles.com/?Catch-a-Cheating-Spouse---Infidelity-Statistics&id=1890696

Esther Perel (a new york based couples therapist) cited on the following link said that every marriage has the possibility of an affair and always will. Do we think she is right?

http://http//www.guardian.co.uk/theobserver/2010/mar/07/polly-vernon-infidelity-betrayal-help-relationships

Unethical insurance sales

The law in this country allows many places to sell insurance for all sorts of purposes. Ranging from pet insurance right through to dental and house insurance. Now I used to work in a bank and each morning before to start of our day we would have a branch meeting to discuss what the focus of the day would be. Our branch manager would offer some team motivation and perhaps a mini training session on the product we were to sell that day. We were then all given a sales target that we were expected to meet during that day. This is all very good and well but if you failed to reach your daily targets you would be hauled in front of your manager at the end of the day to discuss why you had not performed. This performance review was logged and eventually you would be "Managed out" for under performance (in other words they would be so vile to you that eventually you would leave).

Now next time you are being convinced by the lovely sales person or bank clerk that you need to insure your insurance policy (I know I am exaggerating) really stop and consider if you want the policy. Read the small print, most insurance policies have numerous clauses where you or your item would not be covered (For example most insurance policies will not cove certain types of cancer or heart conditions). Consider if it worth the premium and always always shop around to see which company offers the policy for the most competitive price, and ensure it actually covers you for your requirements. Ask yourself "Do I need this, or is the sales person who is telling me I need it simply meeting targets?"

You have been warned!!!!

There is so much unethical sales around there are numerous web sites and journals you can read for advice and knowledge.Check the link.

http://http//www.springerlink.com/content/u1561j4124384613/

Vandalism

Street furniture, telephone box's and bus shelters are prone to attacks of vandalism. There is constant danger from broken glass and debris. Many people cause damage to others property as a willful act. WHY? Because they are angry, jealous revengeful or just being spiteful.

http://http//www.direct.gov.uk/en/CrimeJusticeAndTheLaw/Typesofcrime/DG_181578

The question I want to ask is how would those who do the vandalism feel if it were their car with a scratch all down the side? Or their house that is spray painted with peoples names or they have to stand in the rain because the bus shelter has no glass in it? The link above offers advice on who to report vandalism to and the effects that vandalism can have.

Wind

Why is it that some people think it is OK to let rip, fart, belch, guff whatever you wish to call it. Come on guys is it really that funny and is it acceptable? I know it is normal and that we all do it, but do we have to do it out loud in public places? Manners tell me that if you need to do it then you should make an effort whenever possible to do it quietly or if possible do it in the lavatory.

According to the following website people should break wind at least 15 times a day! http://http//www.embarrassingproblems.com/problem/wind

All I can say is please do it in an appropriate place.

Child abuse

This is a subjest that as a Mother of four I feel passionate about. If you are going to get stressed when they cry and harm them because of it then why have them in the first place? I know that children push you to your absolute limit, but there is never an excuse to abuse or neglect them. The social workers so often seem to have misread a situation and in the case of baby P they were aware that he wasin danger of abuse yet they failed to act and save his life.

According to the NSPCC child abuse can take four forms physical abuse, emotionalabuse, neglect and sexual abuse. A child can be left feeling they have noone to turn to or to help them.

Adults if you think a child is being abused contact NSPCC helpline on 0808 800 5000 or a child can call 0800 111.

The web link for NSPCC is

http://http//www.nspcc.org.uk/helpandadvice/whatchildabuse/whatischildabuse_wda36500.html

Outlaws and Bandits

http://www.oddee.com/item_96687.aspx

What a world it would be if we all decided to take the law into our own hands every time we felt the desire to do so. We all feel so strongly about an issue at times that we would like to just go out and put it right in our own individual way.

There is a certain amount of admiration given to the outlaws and bandits that are given to us all in history. Robin hood for example who took from the rich and gave to the poor. This was however, not strictly the case. Most of the beliefs about him are folk tales that carry very little resemblance to the truth. The website below gives rise to some interesting questions about the truth behind the myth.

http://http://www.britainexpress.com/Myths/robin-hood.htm

Stalking on Facebook

http://http://www.yourlocalguardian.co.uk/news/4785138.Croydon_man_jailed_for_Facebook_stalking/?ref=rss

This article makes us all aware of the dangers surrounding the use of face book. It is a social networking site that should be fun not something which leaves us feeling scared or intimidated. Stalking is scary issue that can lead to terrifying consequences.

Facebook have a policy on privacy that can be found on the following link

http://http://www.facebook.com/privacy/explanation.php Personally though I feel the site is not really as supportive to individuals who find themselves feeling under threat in any way. It also has lots of children who use the site on a regular basis. I was amazed when my twelve year old had a huge protest with me over not letting him use the site. I told him he had to be eighteen and that he had to prove to me that all his friends were on it. I signed onto it myself and we searched well over a dozen of his mates and to my surprise they were all active users with photos videos of themselves and younger siblings and even announcing to the world when they were going on holiday! Why not put up a poster and say hey come and burgle my house as we are in Spain for two weeks.

Surely facebook should filter this information......

Bad Cinema

OK everyone seems to be so upset about this film. I would hate my children to end up in anything like this situation. However, I hope that I have given them enough of a moral understanding, balanced education and guidance on their behaviour to prevent this possibility. This grounding should give them enough information including any consequences both in their everyday lives and in their relationships that they would be able to make informed choices in their lives and then live with the results of their actions whatever they may be.

The film has succeeded in gaining enough attention to raise controversial issues and to remain in the mind of individuals who watch it. I think we have to be realistic and not naive in issues surrounding the youth of today. With the availability of all kinds of images on the Internet and on our television screens everyday it surprises me that some of my peers in the Being Bad group were so upset and shocked by the film.

http://kidshealth.org/teen/sexual_health/stds/std_hiv.htmlhttp:// This link offers a wealth of information about AIDS/HIV for teenagers and also gives advice on how to sexually aware.

Response to Jodie O'Sullivan Bullying at University

http://jodieosullivan.blogspot.com/ Posted by Jodie on 28/02/2010

Jodie,

I know just how you feel. It amazes me that individuals who consider themselves to be educated people seem to have absolutely no manners. So what if I do not speak with a plumb in my mouth, so what if I can not afford designer clothes. Does that mean you are better than me? Does than mean you can look down your nose at me? NO it bloody well does not.

I find it astonishing that these very same people provoke emotions in me that I thought I would never have to feel as an adult. Perhaps some consideration should be given by all the people in the being bad lecture to the values they hold. I hope the lecturer you were with when the others were laughing at you noticed and that they will be reprimanded for their inexcusable behaviour.

http://http://www.antibullying.net/unistudents.htm This web site was set up to discuss bullying at University it makes for interesting read. It tells of many students who have been bullied at their own Universities via various methods. Amazing that it is suce a seriuos issue it has resulted in the site being developed.

I for one admire you for rising above their snobbery and immaturity. Well done you.

Masturbation

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Response to Deb re drinking and smoking

http://debsbeingbadblog.blogspot.com/
In response to Deb I have to agree. I drink because I enjoy the taste, the result and know I am not breaking any laws. Deb points out that her nan could be considered a binge drinker which got me thinking that my parents are, my brother and his wife are but my Husbands sister is not and neither is my Father in Law. However, that also made me realise why I consider them to be so dull in comparison with my pissed up family and friends. Good on you Deb for quiting smoking when you were pregnant but did you quit drinking as well? I do not smoke but do drink and did manage to give up while I was pregnant but bloody hell did it make me miserable! I was so glad the day I came out of hospital after all four pregnancies to have my beloved pint of Lager.
Bliss ...........

Lying

OK let's all take part in a survey about honesty.

http://www.honestylab.com/

I can honestly say it was not me, Honestly I handed it in on time, Honestly Miss the dog ate my homework. I am not telling a lie, look at me is the the face of someone who tells lies?

My goodness I have used them all and heard them all over the years from my kids, husband and friends. One friend in particular tells lots of lies and then completely forgets what she has told me. Only to backtrack if I question her about it.

Can anyone actually hand on heart say they never tell a lie? If they can then they must be in the minority. (Or actually being dishonest in their answer).

Binge Drinking

Posted on 01/03/2010 @ 11.17am

http://www.drinking.nhs.uk/health-risk/index.html?gclid=CNuN_8q2l6ACFSGElAodTwzEeA

http://www.cdc.gov/alcohol/quickstats/binge_drinking.htm


Now I like a drink. So do most of my friends and family. We all know our limits but all too often we have more than we should. Often to help after a stressful day or simply to aid in helping us let our hair down. I see no problem in that even though I know I would be classed as a binge drinker. I never come home in the state of the poor girl in the advert and usually stop before I am ill. I know the risks but I do it anyway.

It seems to me that everyone needs a release from the normal everyday chore that life is. Some choose chocolate, smoking, sport or many other endless activities. I worry for individuals who cannot control their alcohol limits and would suggest anyone who needs a drink first thing in the morning and at regular intervals throughout the day has got a problem that requires a degree of intervention. I do not appreciate being frowned upon however for having one drink on a lunch time to celebrate a friend's birthday before a seminar! Surely that is pretty typical of the average behaviour of a student?? Or would most students have more than one? Any thoughts??

Drug Abuse

Just look at the following harmful effects of drug use on individuals

Addiction

After effects such as anxiety, depression, paranoia, tiredness and dizziness.

The sharing of needles carries a serious risk of cross infections such as HIV or Hepatitis B.

A criminal record from drug related incidents or even a custodial sentence.

Detrimental effects on users relationships accompanied by added financial pressures.

A reduction in the judgement of the user.

Immune system is weakened making user prone to cancer or heart attack.

Isolation from all society.

Amputation or even death.

Physical dependency.

Jobless, homeless, loss of respect and self-esteem. Loss of status and often the user becomes unclean and lacks any pride in their personal appearance.

Sleeping around may occur or the user may suffer a total loss of libido.

Weight loss or gain.

Mental health problems. Schizophrenic or loss of social skills.

So why do people do it?

http://www.talktofrank.com/ This particular web site/organisation offers advice to individuals who have a drug related problem and to the friends and family who are affected by the many issues detailed above.

Comment left for Rob Ball on 19/02/2010 23.01 regarding smoking
http://robballbeingbad.blogspot.com/


Yes you are so right. If all the smokers stop where will all the lost income come from? I guess it is the same as putting the price of everything up that makes the great unwashed escape their daily grind. Perhaps if the government stops us from smoking and binge drinking they can take us all back a few years to the days of the church being our entertainment. Oh yes that should make the world a better place!! NOT! After all we don't all disagree over a pint of lager or a packet of B&H but we disagree about religion all the time. Food for thought.

Telling lies

Posted Tuesday 23/02/2010 21.13


A BIG FAT LIE OR A LITTLE PORKER?

http://www.walletpop.co.uk/2009/11/12/employers-using-lie-detectors-to-reveal-cv-porkies/

Can you believe it? Now you may face a lie detector test when you go for an interview? So perhaps in the interests and hobbies section the honest answer of "I enjoy getting pissed, lazing around on the sofa and reading the paper" may have to become the standard answer. (That is unless we are all suddenly going to take up hiking and knitting perhaps).

Integrity hummmmm. How many can actually say they have it?




Not President Bill Clinton. He lied to save his job his marriage and his reputation. Can anyone put their hand on their heart and say if they had done something bad that would ruin all of their relationships and their career that they would not lie about it? Yes it was wrong that he had the affair I am not disputing that. Yes he should have known better. However if I was in that situation I would lie to attempt to save the feelings of those I love and to save my ass.

Lying in my opinion is something we all do every day to be polite, to be accepted and when we just want to get away from someone with minimum hassle. So go on if you want to lie to me carry on because I will take it on the chin and lie right back to you. Unless i do really like you then it may be genuine I will leave it up to you to decide which category you fall into.

Stalking

Posted on Friday 19Th Feb 2010 10pm

Stalking www.nss.org.uk/stalking-facts-figures/stalker-types/

Check out case study number 4 on the above web link!

My first husband died very suddenly when we were both just 26 years old. He was a fantastic husband and we had been together from the age of 19. Our son Samuel was just 6 months old when Steve died and to be honest I really did not know how to cope with the loss or being a single parent, widow or just simply being single after so many years. I lost the plot as they say but luckily I had a wonderful family who guided me and helped me through it. My point in telling you all of this is one of Steve's friends was so supportive to me in the early days after his death I really found I had become to rely upon him. Silly things like helping me put the bin out (we lived in a terraced house and quite frankly I would struggle to carry the damn thing through the house to the pavement to be collected) or helping me with the garden or decorating. It never occurred to me that he may have had an ulterior motive. How naive I hear you all scream but in the depths of grief and being a new mother I was oblivious.

I found myself noticing things being done in the garden when I got home from work. I asked him and yes he was doing me a good deed. I also noticed that he would ask me where I was going for lunch or if I was planning on going out at the weekend with my son. Whenever I told him he would turn up and to be honest often I was glad. Finally after around 7 months of this he asked me out. I was horrified and immediately said no explaining that I was still in the depths of grief. Needless to say he did not dig up my husband (as in case study number 4) or start hounding me but he did continue to turn up at the same places as I was on a regular basis. Was he stalking me? I Should I have done something different? No. I think not. He met a girl about a year later and they are now married with two children. I am also re married and we are all friends.

Perhaps people panic at the thought of being stalked and I know I was an unusual case but I could have accused him of stalking and perhaps in a way he was. I do think that each case should be studied and examined carefully before accusations are made. I also feel if the individual involved knows the potential stalker and feels safe to do so they should talk to them. Set out clear boundries and point out when they feel uncomfortable or threatened by a situation.

If they do not know the stalker but have evidence to suggest they are being stalked then the web site above has some fantastic starting points for self help and also some legal advice.

Smoking

Tuesday 16th Feb 10 22.14

http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.edinboro.edu/dotAsset/116140.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.edinboro.edu/departments/ghering/smoking_cessation.dot&usg=__mRsL5t2ilm4vwyB8A5FnGe7tmg4=&h=791&w=1101&sz=148&hl=en&start=74&itbs=1&tbnid=FQjnhzuERwuPAM:&tbnh=108&tbnw=150&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dsmoking%26ndsp%3D20%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DN%26start%3D60

As a non smoker I find it difficult to comprehend why people smoke. Although I guess others would wonder why I bite my nails or why I have allowed myself to become overweight even though just like the smokers I am aware of the potential damage I am doing to my health in doing so. I actually have no problem with smokers myself I think each individual should be able to make informed choices in life. I disagree with the way the government has hounded smokers and made them less socially acceptable.

I grew up around a family of smokers and my Grandfather smoked from the age of 8 right until he was 81. He decided to give up when he was 81 because he woke and had his usual morning fag only to be sick within moments of taking his first drag. He lived another 7 years after that and died of a totally unrelated illness to smoking.

It seems that all the information I could find was related to `How to give up' or `The health hazards associated with smoking' rather than why people choose to carry on. My guess is that like me and my diet or alcohol consumption it is simply because life can be so crap we all need something that makes us feel better whatever that may be and regardless of what its effect may be. The cigarette and the smoker has been driven out of the pub, club, workplace and any public building. It is the demise of free will for the smoker and shortly will be followed by the lack of decent pubs to drink in as the government seems to now have shifted its attention to the Binge drink culture and how to tackle it. What will we have left? Lets all go to the gym for a night out followed by a smoothie or a mint tea perhaps?? NO Thanks I will stick to my lager in the smokers area with my friends who choose to both smoke and drink.

The lecture on smoking was ironic I feel with the fire alarm going off half way through. I can see that smoking is or perhaps was considered as sexy or cool. I tried it myself a couple of times but was violently sick after smoking a huge cigar (and drinking 4 pints of grolsch). The result was three days in bed two of which all I could taste was the damn cigar. It was enough to put me off forever. (smoking at least but not drinking sadly should I say gladly?) I read on someone's blog that they noticed all the smokers sat at the back of the lecture. I was towards the front so that was news to me however I wonder if there is any significance to that? I would have thought the smokers would prefer to be at the front to make a sharp exit for a quick fix in the break?

Let's go to JB's nightclub in Dudley. It is bad!

We could cover the topic of abortion. Is it a personal choice or do individuals use it as a form of contraception?

Is there a time when abortion is considered to be acceptable? Perhaps after rape for example.